that im not always going to be like this? that im going to turn out fine. that im going to get a job. pursue a career i love. and make people around me proud?

because right now, i feel so unsure. 

im scared. i feel like things are moving. time is passing. yet im still stuck in the same pit of “failures” and “inadequacy.”

i feel screwed up. i feel like there is no hope for me. i try to start somewhere but i cant because im too behind.

no one can help me. no one can speak for me. because this is the truth: i am a failure, its all my fault, and i cant get out.

i hate myself. and everything about me and my life and everything around me right now is unacceptable. 

i cant tolerate it. all this pain and disappointment i want to turn it off. i don’t want to cry any more.

i feel depressed. i hate feeling like this. ive been feeling like this all the time but these days its just i cant handle it.

i dont want to cry any more. i dont want to be in pain. i dont want to think about anything. i dont want to think about my life. what i have to do. what i have done. what they are thinking. what you are thinking. what is coming. i just want to go away.